100A house here.
When I was shopping, two different electricians, including one that was referred by my utility through a program
specifically for installing EV charging and reimbursing me for it, told me there was no problem installing a 60A circuit for my EVSE, without any sort of load management or de-rating.
I have electric A/C, oven, and dryer. They each told me (paraphrasing) "just don't cook AND dry AND cool AND run the dishwasher AND charge at the same time." Maybe it's worth noting that this is a smallish (1700sqft) townhouse with two shared walls, natural gas heating, and a single A/C unit, but I'm in a warm climate and the A/C runs a fair bit, though less so at night.
So I set my EVSE (Emporia) to 32A and 11pm to 7am (since apparently the scheduler on the Equinox is ... uhhh, something 🤷‍♂️) and haven't worried about it since. And not once have those 8 hours been insufficient to fully charge. Usually it's done in under 3. I didn't have to set it to 32A, but it's for the 0.5% of the time that the laundry runs late.
I'm on the side of Mr.
Technology Connections* over on YouTube. That is, don't let me stop you from installing load balancing or a service upgrade, but a lot of folks with 100A service would be fine without. (If you have electric heating, and/or a truly awful commute, and/or a bigger EV getting under 2mi/kWh, and/or two EVs needing to charge every day, I don't mean you.)
In my case I only went with 60A EVSE wiring because my utility paid for it; if it were my own money I probably would have opted for 40A or even less. Typical daily mileage in my household is in the 30s. Days over 100 miles are exceedingly rare. Consecutive days over 100 miles have never happened except on road trips.
Maybe one day I'll retrofit a Vue system. I do think it's a neat product. I'm skeptical that it'll do much for me though.
All that said - standard disclaimers. I'm not an electrician.
I listened to and followed the advice of my electrician, and so should you.
But that includes maybe doing some math beforehand to see what kind of charging power fits your lifestyle 99% of the time (it's probably less than you think!), and asking your electrician if they can safely install
that with your existing service, rather than the standard 60A.